hell...

as joy fades
spring becomes the wings of my tears
they turn to fluttering blossoms
dancing swiftly with the wind
nobody knows her
but she knew a lot of people
she has nowhere to go
but she`s gone to lot of places
no possession,she has got
but she knew and had these things once
she never dreamed of a perfect life
never thought of grandiose
of wordly things like this and that
coz she has but one dream before
to know the truth about herself and more
she just that the truth
could free her from the iron cage...
but it shattered the very dream
she has for herself
and every dream she could have
it stripped her of memories
the only things she long kept
it removed her of identity
the thing that kept her alive
it struck her heart
right through the very core
and she`s bleeding
shedding tears of blood
later,the blood would dry up
soon,she`ll burn with flames
having her flesh burn down
to ash and embers
she`s embracing herself with regrets
but nothing`s gonna change
she can never get back
the things she lost
it was just too hard
coz those things weren`t hers
right from the beginning...

falling leaves...

Sitting under a tree,thinking,I felt something has fallen on my hand.Oh,a leaf...I realized that because of my deep thinking,it took me a long time to notice the falling leaves...Then I suddenly thought...What if every falling leaf answers my questions that are left unsaid?What if every tear that falls from the eyes has the balsam for the weary hearts that bled?What if I can unearth a gem in ores of disguise in uncertainty?And know what?It feels like my spirit wants to weep over spaces undefined,over dreams that were left behind,over dark paths where light can`t be seen...I hear the whisper of my soul towards the leaves that endlessly fall...Maybe its time to let go,let go of the pain and hatred...

questions once, questions forever...

She will not pretend to understand this world,`coz the truth is,she do not understand even a bit of it.Why is this world too cruel that it gave a dose of stinging truth to a four-year old child? Did the world ever thought if the child can bear it? Why is this world too brutal to let a child carry the burden of thinking WHY?Why are her love ones very near yet very far from reach?Why do they laugh when she was shedding tears?Why did they abandon her,knowing that she needs their courage?Why didn`t they toughen their spirits , knowing that hers is brittle?Obviously,she can`t answer it,though it had been 10 years ago..she`s waiting ... waiting for the answer...

...a place for me...

Sometimes,happiness could not escape the tinge of sadness and I feel like Im the loneliest person in the crowd.when my speaking becomes a failure of expression,I long for a quiet place where I can rest my mind awhile...where solitude hushes my frustrations, where no one would doubt me on any way.And when the time comes that I have that much to share, the world is preoccupied,..too busy for a moments pause,I always find the company of beings that crave for a sense of belonging,I`ve always longed for a place where Iam of worth, where i need not beg for attention and appreciation...where nothing will force me to question my existence.A world who cares for me,puts me away from frustration...THE WORLD OF FANTASY....

tears...

I just don`t understand why humans cry,suffer...As if they are in full agony, with a helluva burden,which means theres no more tears to shed...I just hate crying..But even if Iam one of the persons in this world who hate crying...I just can`t help it...the tears fall..And then Iam in my dungeon ,imprisoned,all alone...I feel like im cursed..cursed never to wear a smile without shedding a tear at the end of the day.I just wanna be a rock, TOUGH..and whenever it can`t stand the heavy rains and the crushing wind, IT CRUMBLES TO PIECES ...

my say...about what they say...

The burning flames of the the fiery hell is scorching me from skin to bone... the dagger of icy darkness struck me... say... was it my fault? to let that decision be made?...to let that that feelings out?....to let two people be happy in their lives?.....You may say i`m no good friend... that i don`t know what`s right and what`s wrong....and...maybe you are right...